


If I say goodbye

by AlexandriaArlene



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: F/M, Fear, Friendship, Hurt/Comfort, Love, M/M, Memories, Pain, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-31
Updated: 2015-06-02
Packaged: 2018-04-02 03:25:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 9,424
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4044055
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlexandriaArlene/pseuds/AlexandriaArlene
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Wake up please. I love you." Magnus whispered. He waited a couple minutes but there was nothing. No movement nothing. With everyday that went by there was less of a chance that Alec would ever wake up again. With every moment that went by it felt like he died a little inside. Like with every moment Alec was coming closer to becoming a memory. To having to say goodbye.</p><p>Everyone he loves around him but no sign of when he was going to wake up. Just the thought of losing him brings people together in different ways. Because if Alec says goodbye they need each other more then anything because if he says goodbye it will change them forever.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When Sadness Comes

*Start Story*

Chapter 1: When Sadness Comes

The rain fell on the ground like bullets hitting a wall. The rain drops laced with her fiery red hair as they hit her coat she ran into the institute knowing that she didn’t want to get to wet. She stepped into the institute making her way to the infirmary. Clary didn’t know what she was expecting when she saw Jace standing there. She wasn’t sure of what she was supposed to say or be. She looked at his blonde hair how much he still looked like a lion to her even after five years. They had been together for almost six years. She saw as he looked worried but at the moment she was just so happy that he was okay.

The room was white and cold. She knew that but she just wanted to know what was going on. This wasn’t a hospital even though it looked like one there were bedrooms on the floor above them and places in the house that didn’t make this seem so hospital like.

All of sudden she felt as she ran into his arms circling her as her arms wrapped around his neck. She was in his arms and after he told her where he was on the phone apart of her wondered if it was going to be like last time he had gotten hurt enough to be in here. Then the other part knew it wasn’t because the last time had been her fault but at the same time she knew that was one of the only ways to save him from the self-hatred. 

“What happened?” She asked as she breathed in the smell of his skin. Why did they have to be here if he wasn’t hurt? Apart of her had to even wonder if he was in a demon fight but then she realized that wasn’t it because he was standing here. She pulled away slowly when he didn’t answer her. 

“It’s Alec. I found him in an alley way unconscious so I did the only thing I could I brought him here.” Jace replied. Clary watched as the guilt flickered across his face. She wished that she could make it go away. This wasn’t his fault and she knew that but if Alec got into a fight shouldn’t Jace have been there with him.

“If he was in a demon fight then why weren’t you with him or why wasn’t someone with him?” Clary asked. He was surprised by her question he knew that she was asking. He knew that she wasn’t blaming him she was just trying to tell him in a different way that this wasn’t his fault because for her to just to say the words wouldn’t work this time because Alec was his brother in the way that mattered most. Alec may not have been his blood but was his family in the way that counted. 

“I didn’t know that he went hunting and I don’t know if he went with anyone because I found him on the ground.” Jace replied. She hugged him as he ran his fingers through his hair in an effort to try and comfort him and let him know everything is going to be okay.

“Alec is going to be okay.” Clary whispered and he held onto her tighter. She felt completely safe as always being in his arms. It could have never felt any different in his arms. Even with them going to hell and back they were still in love if not more from the green house. Valentine only took it away for a time period and he wouldn’t ever take it away from them again.

“The silent brothers are in there with him now trying to figure out why he is unconscious. I called you because it was the only thing I could think to do.” Jace muttered. Clary knew that he was worried and couldn’t tell him that maybe he should have called Magnus because Jace is the one that had to carry on his shoulders when Magnus asked why he wasn’t there. That’s what he didn’t want to face because then his worst fears were going to become a reality that he would be blamed for this and he would believe it. 

“Have you called Izzy or Magnus?” Clary asked. Jace shook his head and even though she knew the answer already she decided that she would do that because Jace needed to sit down or eat but after all the times that he had taken care of her he needed her to take of him this time. Alec had to wake up because he was what held everyone and everything together. Clary called Izzy first and she answered when Clary told her what had happened Izzy said that she would be there as fast as possible. When Clary called Magnus he wasn’t answering. She tried to call him multiple times but it would ring all the way through and then it would be his voicemail with Alec. Clary felt a surge of pain go through her for when she would have to tell Magnus that the person that he loved was in a coma. She went and sat next to Jace and rested her head on his shoulder.

He pulled her closer wrapping his arm around her waist just wanting her. Just wanted to feel her against him. He knew that he was leaning on Clary and at one time he would have believed that was weakness but it wasn’t. He would be weaker without Clary and he wasn’t ever going to think that again. She didn’t force him to change he changed just by the simple fact of knowing her. He had seen her love and how it had driven her to fight then anyone that he had ever known and he needed her. He wasn’t going to be ashamed by that fact. He wasn’t going to regret it and she wasn’t going to take it back. Her heart would forever be his. They waited for the silent brothers while Clary tried to decide what to do about Magnus. She had to tell him but she couldn’t leave Jace or Alec at the moment and she wouldn’t ask anyone else in the room to do it.

It wasn’t supposed to be like this. They were supposed to be done facing crazy things like this but apparently they weren’t done facing the question of if someone was going to die. Clary was done facing something like this. She buried her head in Jace’s shoulder smelling him. It calmed her and made her feel like everything was going to be okay. She heard footsteps coming their way. She lifted up her head to see Izzy and Simon making their way towards them. 

Clary stood up first and Jace followed. Izzy gave Clary a hug first but Clary knew Izzy had changed but not enough to stop holding back her tears. Then Izzy went and hugged Jace. Simon pulled Clary in for a hug. A few years ago before Clary and Jace found out that they weren’t related Jace would have gotten jealous and would have felt like he wasn’t good enough for Clary but now he didn’t because the truth was it was Simon that didn’t have a chance with her the moment that she met Jace Simon lost his chance to be with her. Simon was okay with that now because now he had Izzy and she was everything that he ever wanted.

He just never thought that she would ever actually love him back. Asking Izzy for her love is what is the hardest for her because even though her father stuck around she did have issues with her father. Izzy and Simon sat down on the couch across the room. Izzy laid her head on Simon’s shoulder while Clary put her head on Jace’s lap. Jace gently play with her gorgeous red hair as they waited. No one spoke and no one smiled. It was like the silence in the room spoke for itself. Even though out of all of them Alec was the most mature out of the five of them it just made conversation come alive and all of them were worried.

Clary was falling in love with Jace all over again. To see his strength in this moment. Valentine had taught him horrible things about love. Love had only made Valentine weak because he hadn’t truly loved Joselyn. He loved that he had someone and when he didn’t he felt broken. Loving Clary for Jace had only made him stronger because instead of reckless fighting he had a reason to live but he also had someone that he would die for just as quickly. He would do anything that he could do to protect her and she would do the same. 

*Alec’s Flashback*

The sun came into the room as the rays hit his face he turned to see Magnus was still sleeping. He watched as he slept and how he still managed to make Alec feel so happy and didn’t have to feel that sadness. He could just be happy with him like nothing else matter. He crawled out of Magnus’ bed realizing he had to go back to the institute because it was time for him to get ready to go hunt a demon with Jace and he needed his equipment. Sleeping in the same bed with Magnus and waking up the next morning next to him was something that would never get old to him. Feeling Magnus’ arms wrapped around him every time he slept with him would also never get old. Nothing about loving Magnus could ever get old.

All he wore right now were pants as he pulled his shirt off the floor Magnus’ eyes opened. Magnus looked at him as Alec continued to get his stuff together. When he finished Alec climbed back onto the bed and moved so his lips were on Magnus’. All Alec could think is how much he didn’t want to leave his boyfriend’s bed. He had to though because being a shadow hunter was also something else that he couldn’t give up. He had spent his whole life hunting them and he wouldn’t say he loved it but it was how he stayed him.

“You know you wouldn’t have to leave so early in the morning if you would just move in with me.” Magnus whispered in between the kisses. Alec eyes shot to his apart of him wondered if this was actually happening because if it was Alec didn’t know what he was going to say. He was in love with Magnus and he didn’t want to screw any of this up he couldn’t because after everything with Valentine he just wanted to be with Magnus hoping that nothing else would come of it. Apart of him wanted to shout yes.

“What?” Alec muttered in shock as he pulled away from Magnus. Magnus was sure that this was right because no one in his 400 years had ever made him feel the way that Alec made him. As far as he was concerned Alec held his heart and Magnus held Alec’s heart. Neither of them wanted to ruin this.

“Move in with me.” Magnus said again. Alec was still taken off guard. What did he say to something like this? He didn’t mind living here especially if he got to be with Magnus more than he was at the time because keeping Jace Herondale’s sarcastic ass out of trouble was a full time job and at this moment Jace was feeling really reckless. Alec had assumed that it had something to do with Clary and a long time ago that would have bothered him but now it didn’t. Alec felt happy at the thought that Jace and Clary were both happy. But at the moment Jace had him getting up early because something was going on with them. He didn’t know what but Jace needed to fix it soon because waking up this early wasn’t something he planned on doing every time Jace’s love life was in pieces.

“I’ll move in with you.” Alec replied. Magnus pulled Alec to him and felt as their lips touched. Alec wanted to stay like this forever and never let go of Magnus but sadly demons don’t take a break so he could make out with his boyfriend.

“Okay I really have to go because my hunting gear is still at the institute.” Alec muttered. He pecked Magnus’ lips one more time before he got off the bed. This was different. He wasn’t used to feeling this kind of love. He got love from his brothers and sister but Magnus made him feel something that he couldn’t even put into words.

“I love you Alexander.” Magnus muttered. Alec turned to look at him. “I love you too.” He whispered before he walked out the door. 

*End of flashback*

Brother Enoch came out of Alec’s room and everyone in the room stood up. Clary didn’t like the silence even if she was talking to a silent brother it didn’t put her at ease nor did it put Jace at ease.

He’s going to be in a coma for a couple of days or maybe a couple of weeks but we won’t know anything until he wakes up. He said through the link. Sometimes it was still hard for Clary to get used to it but she was going to ask the next thing even if it was selfish of her to ask to see him first. 

“Can I see him?” Clary asked. The silent brother nodded but before she went in the silent brother continued. Please keep the number of people in there at a time to a limit.

Clary walked into the room slowly not wanting to be too loud. She didn’t know why because in all reality it wasn’t like that was going to be the thing that was going wake him. She sat on the chair next to his bed. She wanted to be angry that this was happening after everything that they had all been through. 

“Alec, what happened out there?” She asked knowing that he wasn’t going to actually going to respond. “I know that when I first found out I was a shadow hunter we didn’t see eye to eye. Actually one of the first things you said to me was to stay away from Jace. I didn’t exactly listen. But my point is that we have come a long way because now you’re like a brother. Please wake up Magnus and Jace need you. Same with Izzy. Sometimes I wonder that you’re the only reason that your sister doesn’t completely go off on one of the many guys in your family.” Clary continued. She let a tear fall from her face before she wiped it away.

The wall were white as she looked up she saw Jace standing in the door way. She got up and walked over to him. He grabbed her by her waist and brought his lips to hers. He loved her and now more than ever he just wanted to be with her. She pulled away slowly.

“I’m sorry.” 

“What do you have to be sorry about?” Jace asked her. She felt like she should have given him time to be the first to talk to Alec but she wanted to so she could go tell Magnus what was happening because then maybe Jace could sit and talk to Alec and wouldn’t even know that she was gone. 

“I should have let you come in here first.” Clary replied. Jace was happy with her but right now she couldn’t have been so stupid. He would get to talk to Alec in his own time he didn’t care that she did it first. I know in the past couple of years Alec and Clary had grown to be friends. Apart of him knew she looked at him like a brother as much as Jace had. It didn’t matter to him that Clary needed to talk to Alec first.

“No. I don’t care that I talk to him after you. I’m not leaving here until I know that he is going to be okay.” Jace replied earning a smile from her. He wanted to smile but then he saw the state that Alec was in. He had to wake up he is what held the family together anymore. Robert always almost provoked Maryse and Izzy. Jace stayed out of it for the most part and Alec knew how to calm Izzy. 

“I want to go tell Magnus because he deserves to know what’s going on. I can do that and you can sit with Alec.” Clary muttered. He smiled down at her. She was taking care of him in this moment because Jace did want to tell Magnus it was just a matter of wanting to know if he could just leave Alec by himself.

“Thank you.” He whispered.

“I love you.” She replied and he kissed her again not wanting to let her go but knowing that this was not the place or the time. When this was all over he was going to have to do something special for everything she was doing.

“I love you too. Now go before I change my mind.” Jace muttered trying to make it seem like a joke. It was just so easy to joke around rather then to actually take in the reality. Clary drove over to Magnus’ and knocked on the door. Magnus answered soon after.

“What can I do for you?” He asked. Clary barged in because seriously Alec had been missing for more than eight hours.

“Alec.” Clary replied. He looked at her then he thought he knew what she was talking about.

“It was a fight. People fight.” Magnus replied. 

“What are you talking about?” Clary responded. “This isn’t about any fight between the two of you. Alec got hurt we don’t know how or why but Jace found him in an ally. He’s at the institute in acoma.” Clary continued. Magnus was silent as he fell onto the couch. This couldn’t be happening not to Alec. Why didn’t Alec listen?

“I’ll drive you to the institute if you want. I’m heading back there. It’s just we couldn’t get a hold of you so I decided to come and tell you myself because that is what Alec would want.” She explained. Magnus just nodded as he stood up and walked to her car with her.


	2. What could be the end?

Chapter Two: What could be the end?

*17 hours earlier*

“Where are you going?” Magnus asked. Alec had to find this demon and he was going at it alone because he couldn’t ask Jace this time. Jace was trying to figure out how to purpose to Clary and he wasn’t going to interrupt that. 

“Hunting.” Alec responded. Magnus never cared he was a shadow hunter. It just never mattered to him that’s what he wanted to do. It was about what made the both of them happy and if for Alec that meant he dedicated his life to demon hunting then so be it.

“Who’s going with you this time?” Magnus asked. 

“I’m not going with anyone. I’m going on my own.” Alec replied. Alec wasn’t going to lie to Magnus it had only ever gotten him more trouble than it was worth. 

“Are you insane? You’re hunting a demon by yourself.” Magnus yelled. Alec could hear the anger in his voice but Alec knew what he was getting at. Alec and the rest of the shadow hunters thought it would be best if shadow hunters didn’t fight alone after Sebastian and Valentine. They were both able to almost make all the shadow hunters go up in flames. 

“No. I know what I’m doing.” Alec replied as he resumed to putting his gear on. He didn’t want to have this conversation of reckless behavior but he was getting it anyway. He wasn’t being reckless before Valentine he used to hunt by himself all the time but that didn’t matter. Why did it matter now that he was hunting by himself? Why couldn’t he just hunt by himself? Jace went hunting when he was fighting with Clary but the only reason that Alec went by himself was because he was afraid that when they fought it only made Jace more reckless. 

“There’s a reason the clave prefers you to hunt in pairs you know.” Magnus replied. Alec was now angry because he knew that. He understood why but as far as he knew this wasn’t that large of a threat. 

“Yes I know that. It’s not the high of ranking demon.” Alec replied trying to hold in his frustration and his anger. He felt like he was being second guessed.

“What if more demons show up then that one demon?” Magnus asks. Alec knew it was possible but he was hoping that he would be able to handle it.

“I guess there are going to be a lot of demons that get sent back to hell.” Alec said. His voice was laced in sarcasm.

“I’m serious. Why don’t you take Jace or Clary?” Magnus asked. Alec understood his worry but he was going to be fine.

“Oh by the angel. I will be fine.” Alec yelled as he walked out the door. Magnus was taken aback when the door slammed shut. 

*Present time*

“Alec.” Jace muttered sitting next to his bed. Why didn’t Alec call him when he decided that he wanted to go demon hunting? “Why did you go hunting by yourself?” It was a rhetorical question but all the same he did want to know the answer.

“I haven’t asked her yet but she’s been so amazing through you being in here. I’m not sure how yet.” Jace said trying to make the conversation lighter then talking about the fact that he was lying in a bed and not moving or talking. Jace knew that Alec would ask him what he was waiting for when it came to Clary because he had to know that she was going to say yes.

“You know you’re my brother in the way that matters because when I was ten years old and you made me feel not so alone. You have to pull through because Clary was right you and Clary are the only thing that keeps Izzy from killing me and you are the only reason that she hasn’t killed Robert yet.” Jace continued. He wasn’t going to cry because even if Alec was asleep he wasn’t going to cry in front of him. That was one thing he could promise wasn’t going to happen.  
“You know when I came to the institute I didn’t actually have a family. Valentine had already taken them away even if I did grow up with Valentine he was never my father adoptive or otherwise. You guys took me in and showed me what real love was like. Clary showed me that too. Valentine claimed to love me but he didn’t know the meaning because if he would have love Jocelyn or me he would have loved Clary for the fact that I was in love with her and the fact that she was always going to be a part of Jocelyn. Please wake up. Please come back to Magnus.” Jace said. 

Jace stood up when he saw Izzy and Simon standing outside. He walked towards them leaving Alec alone. He watched as Clary walked in with Magnus. Clary had thrown her red hair into a messy bun. You could see that she was tired. He looked at her green eyes and they were beautiful. He couldn’t believe at times that girl was completely his. Even the time they spent apart thinking they were brother and sister it didn’t stop him from wanting her and loving her. Now he loved her more than he ever thought possible from when they met at Pandemonium.


	3. What if this is the ending?

Chapter three: What if this is the ending?

Alec sat at a table by himself in the apartment that used to be his and Magnus’ but it wasn’t anymore. Magnus was gone and Alec was alone. He was so alone and there was nothing he could say or do to change it. Magnus had made it clear that he no longer wanted Alec because according to Magnus Alec wasn’t the same.

All Alec could think was of course he wasn’t the same. He had watched people die over and over again and each time it just became worse and harder on him. At night he would see their bodies knowing that he couldn’t save him. He had felt so helpless and incomplete that he was slowly dying inside. That what it felt like every time he couldn’t save someone. Every time he would watch there bodies shut down.

He wasn’t the same because in his life time he had faced three wars. The three wars that were haunting him every time he closed his eyes. The only time he didn’t feel that loss was when he was kissing Magnus. That’s the only time that he didn’t feel so at loss. The only time that he could forget everything that was happening in his life. He felt like he was a mess and he could see why Magnus left. He could see that he screwed up.

Izzy sits next to Alec’s bed in a chair looking at her older brother she couldn’t believe out of all of them it happened to Alec. Alec was supposed to be the one that kept his emotions in check and didn’t take unessacary risks. He was supposed to be the one that always did the rational thing but he didn’t this time. She didn’t understand why he didn’t just call her for help? Why he didn’t think that he could depend on her.

“Why didn’t you call someone? You are never this reckless.” Izzy stated. She knew Magnus was outside. Of course he would be. Izzy just wanted to talk to her brother before there wouldn’t be a word said that Magnus didn’t hear because even though it wasn’t personal for Alec it was personal for her.

“I need you to come back. You’re my older brother and I don’t want to be without another brother. I should have been there to fight with you but I wasn’t. I wasn’t there and I’m not going to forgive myself if you don’t wake up.” Izzy stated. She knew that it wasn’t her fault but that didn’t matter it was a part of what made Izzy her. She needed someone to blame. 

“Alec, if you don’t wake up oh by the angel I will climb to where ever the hell you are and drag your ass here kicking and screaming.” Izzy stated laced in anger and worry. She was trying so hard not to cry but it wasn’t working to well. It actually wasn’t working at all. She was pretty sure that if he could hear her right now he would be able to see that she was on the verge of tears. That it wouldn’t take much for her to cry. “I need you. I can’t lose you to. You’re the only sane person in our family. Jace is too cocky. Mom and Dad just fight all the time and mom’s been seeing that shadow hunter Mathew. I just wish that dad didn’t blame mom and that he didn’t cheat on her. Please don’t leave me.” 

“I love you big brother.” She whispered with her voice cracking with each word. She stood up and she walked outside and went into Simon’s arms trying so hard not to cry in front of Clary. Jace and Magnus. She buried her head into Simon’s shirt. Simon did the only thing that he could thing to do he brushed his fingers through her hair.

Magnus walked into the room after Izzy came outside. He saw the way Alec’s body looked so still like it was on the verge from death and life. Alec was only twenty two and this wasn’t supposed to happen. Alec lived through two wars he was not going to 

“Why couldn’t you have just listened to me this one time? Why didn’t you call Clary or Izzy if you didn’t want to take Jace with you?” Magnus asked. His voice was laced with fear and sorrow.

“I love you. Please wake up. Just open your eyes.” Magnus said. He was looking at Alec. His heart’s strings were being pulled because all of the sudden he had the sudden urge to just cry and not stop. He just wanted Alec to wake up. He would never bring up this moment again if he would just open his eyes.

“I know it’s a part of being a warlock to outlive the people that you love but you’re different because I don’t want to live without you.” Magnus said. He couldn’t do it. He had never been so much in love with anybody before. He just wished that Alec would have listened but he wouldn’t be angry if he woke up because if he woke up he would be too happy to care what had happened leading up to this. They had at least been here for thirty six hours and the longer that time went by he just wanted to cry. He then noticed that this must have been how Tessa felt when Will was dying. He remembered holding her as she cried. This was different Alec had to pull through.

Alec wasn’t old and dying he was still young and just barely in his twenties. He hadn’t actually lived a full life. Shadow hunters lived short lives but he had to believe that he and Alec would be different. That they would be able to live a life time together but he knew that they had to have a life together. He wasn’t going to accept it any other way.


	4. What was just the begining

Magnus and Alec went to his apartment after they fixed everything on the roof top. Alec and Magnus walked into the apartment and sat on the couch. Magnus pulled Alec against him as his lips found Alec’s. Nothing could describe how Alec felt in this moment. He had finally gotten Magnus back. It felt like they had been kissing forever but Alec didn’t care either did Magnus.

Maryse walked into Robert’s office. Clary had just gotten a hold of her. She had trouble getting a hold of Maryse because she knew she wasn’t at the institute so that meant she was in Idris and for that reason it was hard to get a hold of someone in another world. 

“What have you come here to tell me? That your remarrying.” Robert said taking a shot at her. He wasn’t particularly happy with the fact that she had been seeing Mathew but he also knew that wasn’t a reason to fault her. Maryse wished that she could smack him and tell him that they had to go back to New York.

“We have to go back to New York.” She stated. She was aware that he wouldn’t listen to her until she told him that it was actually Alec who was in trouble. It was Alec that was suffering.

“Why would go back to New York. Our kids are grown up and you and I are divorced.” Robert replied. He was being such an ass hole right now and she couldn’t figure out why. She had gotten past that he was going to leave her for another woman and now that she was dating someone that she could see herself having a future with he was being a jerk about it. She didn’t leave he did and she shouldn’t have to feel guilty. 

“Stop acting like an ass I didn’t leave you for Mathew. You left me remember that and you have left me more then once. I never even slept with another man while we were married. We have been divorced for five years and I’m supposed to feel sorry no. You listen to what I have to say or I will just go to New York by myself to see our son by myself.” Maryse said yelling at him.

“I realize that but maybe that was a mistake.” Robert replied looking at his ex-wife. He wanted her back but that wasn’t happening. Unless she and Mathew didn’t work but even then it most likely wouldn’t happen between the two of them because Robert had hurt Maryse so many times she knew that she couldn’t go there.

“That doesn’t matter right now but what does matter is the fact our son is in a coma. Clary just called me and said that Alec is in a coma. She’s not sure how or if he’ll wake up. She also said she’s sorry it took her so long to get a hold of them. Everyone is a mess she didn’t know how to get in touch with me until she talked to Magnus but we have to get there fast.” Maryse explained. She didn’t mean to brush him off but she couldn’t have that conversation not right now. Maybe not ever. He stood up and they had to go find a warlock so they could get back to New York.


	5. When Happiness Comes

Alec and Magnus were sitting on the couch. Magnus’ arm was around Alec as Alec was on the verge of sleep. Magnus repositioned himself on the couch and looked at Alec. Alec was the person that Magnus wanted to live his life with. All of it he wanted it to be with Alec. 

For some time now Magnus had been thinking that he wanted to adopt a kid. Maybe even a girl but he didn’t care if the baby was Nephilim or human he just wanted a kid with Alec.

“Hey I’ve been thinking that maybe we could adopt.” Magnus said at random. He didn’t want to walk around this subject not this time. Alec’s eyes snapped open from almost sleeping and looking at Magnus trying to see if Magnus was being serious. Then when he realized he wasn’t he didn’t know what to say. 

“I want to but there is a problem the both of us live dangerous lives so the kid would have to be a shadow hunter or a warlock.” Alec replied. Alec didn’t care which one he or she was he just wanted his child to know how to protect himself or herself from a demon or danger in case he and Magnus couldn’t protect him or her. Apart of him wanted a girl but the other part wanted a boy. 

“I know we could probably adopt a shadow hunter but I don’t think they have orphanages that say warlock adoptions.” Magnus replied. Alec laughed. They were actually adopting and a shadow hunter but that’s not what mattered to the both of them. What mattered was that they were going to adopt a kid. The only reason it had to be a shadow hunter was because the kid would have to be able to protect itself. Alec let his eyes drift asleep slowly before Magnus nudged him again.

“Maybe we should go to the bed if you’re falling asleep because there is no way that I’m sleeping in this position and there’s no way that I’m carrying you either.” Magnus said. Alec opened his eyes and wanted to growl at Magnus but instead stood up and walked to their bedroom. Alec didn’t even bother changing out of his jeans and shirt he just got into the bed and let his eyes shut. Magnus sat there next to him and positioned himself so he could fall asleep to. In this moment Magnus couldn’t think of anything that could make him happier. This is the happiest that he’s been the entire time that he’s been alive.

Alec was still in a coma as Simon went and sat next to his bedside. He looked at Alec and never had he seen Alec so vulnerable. It was like a part of Alec was at peace at the moment when he wasn’t fighting any demons when all he was doing was sleeping.

“Alec, I know that for the most part you think I’m scum.” Simon said. Simon knew that he wasn’t a vampire anymore but he didn’t think that really changed Alec’s opinion of him. Magnus had done what he could to get Alec’s memories back but Alec could only get some of them back. The ones that he didn’t get back Clary and Izzy were able to help feel those holes for him.

“I used to think that I wasn’t good enough for Izzy and I’m not but I got one thing one every guy that may or may not want attention from Izzy and that’s that I make her happy.” Simon said. “I just wish that I could change this for her. That I could make you wake up for her because right now that’s all she wants but right now I can’t give that to her. I wish with all of me that I could. I would give her everything if I could but you have to do this. You have to wake up for her.” Simon said. It was different when he was talking to Alec then the rest.

Simon cared if something bad happened to Alec he just didn’t care as deeply for Alec as everyone else did mainly because him and Alec had come to an understanding that he would be with Izzy and Alec wouldn’t press on about that as long as Simon never hurt Izzy again and Simon was okay with that. After everything he didn’t ever want to hurt her again. Simon was in love with her.


	6. Three Words

Alec was sitting down on the grass next to Magnus as they ate from the picnic. Alec didn’t know if he could pinpoint when he fell for Magnus or when he actually fell out of love with Jace. It happened though. Jace had been right Alec didn’t love him. Jace was just safe because it meant Alec wouldn’t have to admit the extent of his feeling for Magnus.

“I love you.” Alec blurted out. He had brought Magnus here to say those words. He just wanted to tell Magnus how he feels. Magnus was caught off guard because to be honest he fell in love with Alec a long time ago. He just always thought that would be the case.

“I love you too.” Magnus replied. Alec felt as his lips formed into a smile. Inside he was screaming ‘yes. He loves me’. He felt like he was on top of the world. They sat in the park in New York. Alec leaned over and kissed Magnus. Magnus and Alec’s tongues filled each other’s mouths. Alec felt as her heart was pounding against his rib cage. That’s what Magnus did to him. Apart of him wondered if Magnus could feel his heart beat. Alec met every word. Jace was always going to be in Alec’s heart but as a brother not as a boyfriend or someone he could spend forever with. 

Outside of Alec’s room Magnus stood there and watched as Jace made his way back from the vending machine. Magnus felt the anger rise up inside of him. This was his fault because Jace wasn’t there for Alec when Alec needed him.

“Why weren’t you there with Alec?” Magnus asked. His voice laced with anger. Jace was taken aback. He had stopped blaming himself. Clary had convinced Jace that it wasn’t his fault.

“This wasn’t my fault.” Jace replied.

“Aren’t you supposed to have his back when there are demon hunts?” Magnus replied. He was angry with Jace although maybe he didn’t have a right to blame Jace because he was pretty sure that Jace didn’t have a clue but he needed someone to blame for what happened to Alec.

“Stop it both of you. Magnus take a walk to calm down.” Clary said as she walked into the room watching them about to fight. Magnus left the room and went downstairs for a moment.

“What was that about?” Clary asked. 

“He blames me for Alec being in here and maybe he’s right. I should have went with Alec. Why didn’t he just tell me that he was going demon hunting? Why did he have to be such an idiot and go by himself?” Jace asked.

“I don’t know. I wish I knew what he was thinking when he did that but I don’t. What I do know is if he would have called you. You would have been there so fast to help him out. No matter what happens I’m not going anywhere.” Clary told him. He just wanted to kiss her and never let her go. That’s all he wanted but he couldn’t leave here with her even if that what he wanted. They both slept there for the most part.

“Hey are you tired?” Jace asked as he looked at her eyes. They were beautiful but looked so tired and he couldn’t help but feel like that was his fault to.

“Yes but that doesn’t matter.” Clary replied. 

“Yes it does. We are going to take a nap on the couch. No arguing with me but you need sleep and I need to calm down.” He told her and she smiled. He missed that smile because lately he hadn’t gotten to see it. Oh how much he wanted to be with her in every way right now. Jace laid down on the couch first and pulled her down to the couch. He wrapped his arm around her waist tracing circles on her hip she slowly fell asleep.

In Alec’s room Catarina sat down next to the bed she had only met him once or twice but Magnus loved him and that’s all she cared about because as long as Magnus was happy the rest didn’t matter to her. As long as Magnus wasn’t hurting that was also good enough for her. Through the years she had seen Magnus get hurt so many times she just wanted to know that he was happy so Alec couldn’t die.

“Go back to Magnus.” Catarina said. 

“Magnus loves you and that isn’t going to change whether you live or die. You know that you’re an idiot. You have Magnus and he loves you but you make stupid decisions like going without another shadow hunter. I wish you would wake up because all those people out there need you.” She continued. She looked at his body. She didn’t know if he would ever wake up but she hoped for Magnus’ sake. Magnus was her best friend.


	7. Forever

They were standing by a lake as Magnus took his hand. They started walking listening to the water hit the sand over and over again. Magnus couldn’t think of a moment that he loved Alec more. In this moment he had to tell Alec what he was thinking.

“I love you.” Magnus said. 

“I love you too.” Alec said as a smile spread across his face. He knew that Magnus had something on his mind and he was sure that he was about to hear it.

“I know that we haven’t talked about what we want to do as far as a future but I want to marry you. I guess I should be doing this on one knee but my point is that I want to spend the rest of my life loving you.” Magnus said. “Will you marry me?” 

“Yes.” Alec said without any hesitation because he was in love with him and this is what he wanted for so long.

They were sitting in the hospital. Magnus sat on the chair sitting next to him. Clary and Jace were asleep in the waiting room and Simon had convinced Izzy to go get something to eat. He sat there looking at Alec. He couldn’t sleep so he just sat there staring at Alec.

“Hey it’s been two weeks. The silent brothers say the longer your asleep the harder it is going to be for you to wake up. Please wake up. I don’t believe for a second that you won’t wake up. I’m not giving up on you Alexander.” Magnus said. Magnus sat there until he moved to sit next to him and fell asleep slowly.

Alec opened his eyes to see bright light around him. Then his eyes focused on the boy standing in front of him. It was Max. He must be dead was the only thing that it could mean if he was seeing Max. Max died that night that they went up against Valentine. He remembered that pain.

“Am I dead?” Alec asked Max. Max looked at him slightly amused but happy because this was his time to see his brother even other these circumstances.

“Not yet. That’s all up to you.” Max replied. “The memories and the future moments that you’ve been seeing that was to try and help you make that decision.”

“What do you mean that it’s up to me?” Alec asked. He didn’t want a decision. He just wanted to spend time with his brother and forget about the other stuff. He wished that Max was still alive it would make his choice easier.

“I mean you have to decide whether or not you want to go back and be with our family. With Magnus.” Max replied. He knew that the decision would be hard for him and that wasn’t a surprise. Alec had to think about what he wanted but then it wasn’t that hard he didn’t want to be without Magnus. He wanted to see Jace and Clary finally get there happily ever after and he wanted to know that Izzy was always safe and happy.

“Max, I don’t want to say goodbye to you. Believe me I don’t want that but I’m not done with life. I want to be with Magnus and I need to know that Clary, Jace and Izzy are all happy and safe. I love you but this is something I have to do. I would like nothing more then to be with you again but not yet.” Alec said. It hadn’t taken him long to decide and a part of him wondered if he could really regret that. He couldn’t because he was in love with Magnus.

“I know and I will never stop looking up to you. I miss you guys.” Max replied as he wrapped his tiny arms around Alec’s waist and his head rested on his lower waist. He missed this little guy. He filled the room with happiness and he held there family together.

Alec felt as the light hit his eyes. He looked around and saw Magnus laying beside him asleep. He felt so tired. All he could think was about Max. He wished that Max was here because between the two of them Max deserved a second chance more then Alec did but there was nothing that he could do to change that and he wasn’t going to try to change it. He tried to move but his joints felt so weak and swore. His body had felt so weak and like he had been put through a beating.

“Stop moving.” Magnus muttered. It startled Alec then he looked to the side of him seeing as he thought that Magnus went back to sleep.

“Wait your awake.” Magnus said as his eyes darted open. Magnus moved so he could hold Alec in his arms that was all that he wanted was to have Alec in his arms awake.

“You have no clue how happy I am that you are awake.” Magnus said. Alec brought his lips to Magnus’ and kissed him. It had felt like they had been apart forever. Magnus wanted to know a lot but he couldn’t bring himself to ask about it. At this point he didn’t care. He was just so happy that Alec was awake.

“I think I have an idea.” Alec replied.

Jace soon walked in and was a little bit startled to see Alec awake and talking. Jace needed to talk to him as well because now that he was awake it meant that it was okay to do what he’s wanted to do for awhile. He could purpose to Clary because that’s all he wanted but he wanted to know that his best friend was okay. Jace sat in the chair next to the two of them.

“Have you asked her yet?” Alec asked. Magnus didn’t know what Alec was asking.

“No. I’m going to but the both of us were worried about you.” Jace replied. Jace wanted nothing more then to ask her. He hoped that she would say yes but either way he needed to know that Alec was okay.

“Well I’m okay now so ask her tonight to marry you.” Alec replied. Jace understood that Alec wanted to know that they were happy just as much as the rest of them.

“Okay I will but I’ll need you guys to keep her busy while I get everything at the apartment ready.” Jace replied and Alec nodded. He didn’t have much strength but he knew that Magnus could and he was pretty sure that Clary and him would have some things to talk about. Jace was in love with Clary and that much was obvious.

“Okay. Well I’m going to go then but as far as everything else you ever go without someone else on a mission it won’t be the demon you’ll have to fight.” Jace replied. Apart of Alec wanted to laugh because even though he was aware that Jace could fight the thought of them fighting each other was laughable. 

“It was a momentarily lapse in judgement. I promise you I won’t make that mistake again.” Alec replied. 

Jace walked out of the room and into the waiting were Clary was still asleep on the couch. He had to tell her that he was leaving because he wasn’t ever going to leave her and not tell her something that wasn’t how it worked. He told her everything and that wouldn’t change. They were a team but he wasn’t going to tell her about a surprise meant for her. He sat beside and moved the hair that was in her face waking her up.

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey beautiful. Alec’s awake but I have to go do something. You go sit with him and Magnus and in about a few hours come to the apartment and we’ll eat dinner.” Jace told her. She woke up looking at him.

“Why don’t I just go with you?” She asked. She didn’t mind staying with Alec. She would be more than happy to but she wanted to stay with him.

“Because I would feel better knowing that your with him for a little bit and plus I know this was just as hard on you as it was me.” He replied. She pulled him in for a kiss. Just a small one with touch of the lips she felt so happy. She felt happy to know that maybe everything would go right for a little while. Their lives had been crazy lately. Jace walked out the door and Clary decided she would go in and see Alec. 

“Hey.” She said.

“Hey.” Alec responded back as she sat on the chair. He looked at her and noticed that she was exhausted. It looked like she had been here with the rest of them. 

“How long have you been awake?” Clary asked. She knew that she’s been asleep for a while and she was sure Jace and Alec had sat and talked before he left. He probably knew where Jace went but she would find out later.

“Not long. Did Jace already leave?” Alec asked and she nodded. She had to ask this next question because if she were to get an answer he would be the only one that was going to answer it.

“Do you know where he went?” Clary asked. She realized that she didn’t ask Jace that question because she had been distracted but he was acting weird to and that through her off. 

“No. He said that he had to take care of something but that he was going to see you tonight.” Alec replied. She was happy that he was awake.

“I’m so happy that you’re awake.” Clary muttered. They talked for what seemed like hours. Izzy and Simon came in and started talking again. Clary looked at the clock hanging in the room and it read 5.

“I should get going. I told Jace I would meet him at the apartment for dinner.” Clary said. Alec and Magnus let her go because it was time. Alec hoped Jace was doing the dinner somewhere nice. His parents came in as well. His dad gave him a lecture about how he made that rule for a reason but believed that Alec got enough of a punishment and wouldn’t be pressing further on it. They left soon after that.

Robert took Maryse back to Idris. He saw Mathew get in the car with his stuff and drive off. Maryse didn’t want to tell him that Mathew got upset with her for going to New York with Robert. She had told him to leave because she didn’t want to tell him that Mathew was to insecure and he had every right to be because she was still in love Robert but she couldn’t go back to him.

“Where’s Mathew going?” Robert asked.

“We broke up while we were in New York. He had a problem with the fact that I was gone for two weeks with my ex-husband.” Maryse replied.

“I want us back.” Robert responded. Maryse head snapped back up at Robert how he could even suggest that.   
“We can’t go back.” Maryse replied as she walked into the house. Robert followed her inside the house.

“I know I can’t take back anything I’ve said or done but we needed time apart whether either of us wants to admit it. I needed time to grow up and get past everything. You needed time to get over my affair.” Robert replied.

“I admit I miss you but I can’t put up with more cheating and lies.” Maryse replied.

“You won’t have to. I’m in love with you and that has never changed.” Robert replied. He pulled Maryse against him and kissed her. At first he didn’t respond but as the kiss progressed she started to kiss him back.

*-*-*-

When Clary walked into the apartment Jace was nowhere to be seen so she walked into their room and pulled on a white dress. She walked out and saw rose petals leading out to the balcony. This caught her attention. She walked out and saw Jace standing there waiting for her.

“What’s all this?” She asked.

“This is for you my beautiful girl friend.” He told her. He was nervous and she was trying to hold her curiosity in.

“I know that we weren’t easy when we started. I know that everything go really complicated really fast but it hasn’t change the fact that I’m in love with you and that will never change.” Jace said. “I don’t want to ever lose you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you. Will you marry me?” Jace asked as he got down on one knee as he pulled out a ring. That was what caused him to be surprised.

“Yes.” Clary replied. Jace put the ring on her finger and stood up. Clary wrapped her arms around Jace’s neck as his lips touched hers as they kissed.

-*-*-

“I’m sorry I didn’t listen to you.” Alec said. 

“I don’t care about that. All I care about is that you’re safe and that I love you.” Magnus replied he was holding Alec’s hand and looking into Alec’s beautiful blue eyes.

“I love you too.” Alec replied. Magnus moved his hand so it was on Alec’s neck and he moved closer to him and brushed their lips against each other’s. Alec knew that after what happened there was no way that he was ever going to be able to break that rule ever again because everyone he love would be going after him if he ever did again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: thank you for reading my story. I hoped that you enjoyed. This was originally just a Malec story but then it became more of a mortal instruments thing all together because I believe that if something like this ever happened in the mortal instruments that they would all band together.


End file.
